How strengths become weaknesses and weaknesses become strengths Learning from Ravana and Vibhishan

So thank you very much for coming today in the evening, and today I’ll speak on this topic of how our strengths can be our weaknesses and how our weaknesses can be our strengths. All of us when we go in our life journey, we all have to struggle. We may have to struggle against our situations, we have to struggle against our own limitations and while we are struggling in this way we all look for something that will give us an advantage. So something which will help us become may be stronger than others or at least stronger than our situations by which we can function. So that in many ways our journey in life is a journey of self discovery we are trying to understand ourselves so that we can we can use whatever we have to the best capacity.

Say for example, if you go to new city and there you rent a car, and you had asked for a particular model of the car but then that model is not available. You got some other car. Then when you start driving that car, first you feel it out. How does the gear work? How does the engine work?

How does the overall car function, then are the brakes very fast, is the steering very fast, and then as you get a sense of that, then you can operate that car to the optimal capacity. So similarly for all of us when we come in the world, we are given certain resources. So we have certain strengths and we have certain weaknesses and the essential challenge in life is how do we how do we leverage, utilize our strengths and how do we manage our weaknesses for achieving that which is worthwhile in our lives. So I will talk of the contrast between 2 characters in the Ramayana to illustrate this principle. So I will take this discussion in 3 parts.

1st, I will talk about how strengths can become weaknesses, then I will talk about how weaknesses can become strengths, and lastly, I will talk about how strengths and weaknesses can both help us move forward toward life’s ultimate purpose. Once a group of people, once a marriage counselor was doing some counseling to some couples, so he said all the husbands who are controlled by their wives come on this side left side, and all the husbands who control their wives come on the right side. So everybody lined up on the left side only 1 person lined on the right side. So when everyone this one person lined up so do you really do you really control your wife actually my wife told me to stand here. So often relationships are also it is subtle or a gross way we are trying to gain control we are trying to gain power.

And amid such situations now we all try to get some advantage by which we can control whoever is there around us. The control itself does not necessarily have to be something negative now it is for what purpose we are trying to control that is also important. So when we get some strengths say, if somebody has strength in terms of their financial power, somebody has strength in terms of looks, somebody has strength in terms of contacts, somebody has strength in terms of intelligence. So these are all strengths by which we can get a certain amount of control over others, and with these strengths we all can function effectively. So in the Ramayana we will discuss the contrast between Ravan and Vibhishan Now interestingly Ravan and Vibhishan both were what was their relationship brothers who was older among them Ravan yes they are brothers but what was the difference between them thank you, what was the difference between them, one was the enemy of Ram and one was friend of Ram, one was the enemy of Ram another friend of Ram that happened as the story evolved but in terms of their personal attributes yeah, so both were born from the same parents but Rawan tended towards wise and Vibhishan tended towards virtue.

So now Ravan was extremely powerful and not only was he very powerful, he also gained a lot of he did a lot of tapasya, lot of he did a lot of austerities by which he gained further power and because of this whenever he would fight with anyone, he would make he would just crush opponents There’s practically no one who could match him. Now, because on one side he had power, other side he had wise, he had lust, he had greed, he had anger. So the power, he started abusing it, and as he kept abusing the power more and more, he started committing atrocities. He started committing vicious hurtful activities towards others. Now, through this all we be many many traditional societies are hierarchical very hierarchical means say if somebody is the older brother the younger brother only does not speak against the older brother.

And more so in terms of age Ravan was older, in terms of power Ravan was much more powerful, in terms of the royal hierarchy also Ravan was the king. So Vibhishan stood by him. Vibhishan stayed by his side, but what Vibhishan did was whenever Ravan would do anything excessively wrong, Vibhishan would try to give gentle advice. And slowly by that advice, he would make sure that Ravan would not do terribly wrong things, but even he didn’t have much control. Now because Rauan had so much power there is confidence what is the opposite of confidence?

Good, good it is true value what is saying is valid. It is actually we can say if confidence is here when we say opposite we can say confidence is like a healthy or a steady state, and you could go to a 2 extremes which are unhealthy as contrasted to confidence. So one unhealthy state will be what you said that is what overconfidence, and the other will be underconfidence or diffidence. So now everybody needs certain level of confidence, whatever we are doing in our lives we need confidence to be able to face what life is sending our way. But when there is overconfidence what happens is that we overestimate our abilities or we underestimate the challenges.

So when there is overconfidence the difference key difference between confidence and overconfidence is vigilance. Vigilance means somebody is alert. Somebody who is overconfident they think there is no problem at all. Any problem I will just smash it. Say now the Cricket World Cup is going on, now somebody might be a very good batsman, and if the opposite team player more bowling, then the batsman has to have confidence about how I either I can I can face these bowlers?

But if the batsman is not alert or what kind of ball the baller is bowling, and the batsman thinks it is a straight ball but it turns out to be a boogal, and because of overconfidence when there is overconfidence then there is no vigilance, one is not observant, one is not alert. So then when there is no vigilance that overconfidence leads to self destruction. So somebody might be a very expert talented gifted batsman, So their batting ability is their strength. But even if somebody has strength, that does not mean that they are omnipotent. Just because somebody can do one thing expertly does not mean that they can do everything or does it does not does not mean that they can do that same thing in all situations.

So they also have to be alert, but Rawa because he had so much strength, so because he had so much power and nobody could challenge him, he became overconfident. He became arrogant. Now sometimes if there is a if somebody has a particular opinion and then we try to tell them this is you know maybe your understanding is not the complete understanding or we try to tell them that their understanding is not correct then some people are so over confident they say I can agree with you but then both of us will be wrong. What does it mean? They are so completely confident that I am right that they are just not ready to entertain any other opinion of anyone else.

So Ravan had that overconfidence. And, of so when he abducted Sita, now at one level, he also had that awareness that I I am not protected from he had a boon by which he was protected from many kinds of beings. But there was one kind of being that he was not protected from which was that Anushya human beings. Now he thought actually human beings are insignificant. He is suppose, you know, if somebody is in the jungle, and in the jungle, there might be tiger, there might be lion, there might be elephants, somebody may say that okay.

I want to be protected from tigers, lions, and elephants. Somebody says, you don’t so if somebody asked him, I want to be protected from ants. What? Ants ants are insignificant so he thought humans were powerless like that he said why do I need the protection from humans I can deal with them myself so when he cast an evil eye on Sita, at that time, he started he because he knew at one level that he did not have protection from humans and he sensed that Ram is quite powerful. So, he decided not to confront Ram directly and he used a roundabout conspiratorial way by which he abducted Sita.

And then after that he abducted Sita and he brought her to his kingdom which was his kingdom? Lanka, now in Lanka he thought that this is surrounded by the ocean and nobody can come ill over here. He knew at one level that he was playing with fire then he angered Ram but what happens is demons have their own expectation of how things will work. So what happens is he thought now it could be he could have thought in the way that if I abduct Sita that will anger Ram and then Ram will come and attack me, I am actually co quoting danger by that but he thought that if I abduct Sita, Ram will never be able to reach me and because he will not reach me and because he is so attached to Sita. Now what was his evidence that he was so attached to Sita?

He said that otherwise he is living in a forest why would he bring his wife with him when unless he is attached to her? He did not have that conception also that Sita might be so committed to him that Sita wanted to come with him to the forest. So that’s why his plan was that if I just abduct Sita and get Sita with me and then I show her my magnificent palace, my huge wealth and that will tempt her and then she will come over to my side and she will surrender to me and because Ram is so attached when Ram is separated from Sita, Ram will just sink into agony and die because of that. So many times when demoniac people make plans they they have, you could say, one track imagination that this is how things are. So he had no idea of the strength of commitment of Sita to Ram or the strength of commitment of Ram to Sita.

And although he tried to tempt Sita, Sita was not in the least interest rate. In fact, what to speak of becoming his queen, Sita refused to even enter into his palace or stay in his palace. He said that because ram was sentenced to exile so just as ram as long as ram is living in exile in the forest I will also live in the forest and that is why he had to keep her in the ashokwathika in his favorite gardens. So anyway, the point that happened was that because he was so overconfident, he did not think his plan through and eventually, Ram came and Ram first sent Hanuman as a messenger. Lanka and stunned all his soldiers and he went back.

And Ravar was shocked when this happened and then he started thinking, he called a assembly of war, he said, the the Lanka which we had considered impregnable, it has been penetrated now. Oh, generals, please tell me what we should do now? So he said that actually a wise king always takes advice from his ministers and then he acts. A foolish king acts without consulting others, so please give me your advice. Now his mood was such that he wanted advice, but some people say you are free you are fully free to express your mind as long as you agree with me.

So he was like that all his generals were yes men around him. Yeah, so it is what happened, he said actually you know this Hanuman is a insignificant monkey. The only reason he was able to warn Lanka was because he caught us by surprise. Next time when he comes, he will be in for a surprise. Some other generals said actually why wait for them, we will send our army there and we will break vengeance on them right now.

And 1 by 1 by 1 they just spoke to him what he wanted to hear. Now this is in today’s language it is called as living in an echo chamber. So what happens is echo chamber means we hear if we are in echo chamber we just hear what otherwise being echoed. So similarly what happens in many cases is that nowadays say in social media if you are in Facebook and we get our news from Facebook then we get it along with people who are like minded. So what happens is we hear only those people who share our opinions, and anybody who does not share our opinion, we demonize them we reject them.

So Rawa lived in this kind of echo chamber And although he is very strong, his strength led to overconfidence. And that’s why, eventually, when Ram came, he was just overpowered. He fought he fought his full army, but he was overpowered. Powered. So, strength is strength is a strength, definitely, but strength can become a weakness if it leads to overconfidence.

One of my main services is writing. I have written about 20, 25 books. So it is quite sobering to know that in the last century, among the top 10 authors who are considered to be the best authors of the last century and if there are Nobel laureates or books are considered to be classics out of these 10, 8 of them committed suicide and the remaining 2, they just went into like manic depressive condition and this is not just among authors almost all artists it tends to happen like that. Now why does it happen? They are phenomenally talented people.

Now, of course, again, this each individual case might has some many specific things, but broadly speaking, what happens is that in any creative endeavor that we try to do, there are sometimes when we just work brilliantly. We just work with extraordinary brilliance, but then there are some other times when nothing seems to be working. Some days you start writing and then you dig gold you dig in gold wherever you dig, gold comes out. Some days you just keep digging digging and nothing except dirt is found. So what happens is now sometimes if somebody is a very, very talented person, then we say, you are a genius.

Now, if you look at the word genius is an English word, and it comes from the Greco Roman tradition. So, if we look at, say, before the scientific revolution, that is around 15th, 16th centuries, when anybody at that time also they were brilliant artists, they were brilliant writers. So at that time, what the usage was, not that you, if somebody do anything brilliantly, not that you are a genius, but you have a genius. Now, what do you mean by you have a genius? Their understanding was that whenever anybody does anything brilliant, there is some higher being that communes through you and that you have a genius means that some higher being that is acting through you and because of that higher being acting through you, you are able to perform superlatingly.

Now, of course, because the being is acting through you, so you deserve respect, but it is not just you alone. Now to take sole credit for our talents is to put too much burden on ourselves. To take sole credit for our talents is to put too much burden on ourselves. Why? Because even the most talented person, sometimes, they just can’t perform.

Now say again if you take example of cricket, there are some bats when the best batsman might someday just be out of form. Now nobody wants to be out of form they try to bat to the best of their ability but they discard bat. One day they might be in superlative form and any stroke that they hit, it just goes to a boundary, but the next day the most straightforward ball they are not able to hit. So now, of course, these players are dedicated the the players who perform, they are dedicated, their commitment is important, but there is something beyond us that acts through us and that is when we are able to do something wonderful. So, in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says, that I am ability in human beings.

It is God who acts through us whenever we are able to do anything extraordinary. So sometimes the children, they might be extremely talented, and some children are prodigies. There are YouTube videos of children who are in diapers, and they are playing harmonium. How do you do that? How do they learn it?

This is superb. So, when such kids are extraordinarily good, there is definitely something special about them. But if we start saying that you are a genius, the problem with that is that tomorrow something might happen they might not be able to perform at the same caliber and even the best of us sometimes have off days so many of these top writers what would happen is they were able to write superlative literature and they became famous and then after that they started measuring themselves by the standard of their superlative literature and anything that they would write not good enough not good enough See, our mind can make us unhappy in the happiest of situations by just speaking these three words, not good enough. Your house is not good enough. Your car is not good enough.

The food is not good enough. You know? My children are not good enough. My partner is not good enough. No.

This is not good enough. That is not good enough. And now, of course, we all want to improve but when when when something divine would act through them and they would be able to do something phenomenal and the next year they are not able to do that next time when they are writing so they become when we take sole credit for our talents, then we have to take the sole blame for the absence of the talents. And thus, they would go into enormous depression. Why?

What happened? Why can’t I write like this? I wrote so well. Why is nothing coming out over here? And, you know, anger is expressed in different ways.

Anger expressed outward leads to aggression. Anger expressed in our anger directed outward leads to aggression. Anger directed inward leads to depression. When we become angry with ourselves, why are you not good enough? Why can’t you do this?

Then we start sinking into depression. So it’s important that we don’t we recognize that our strengths are their gifts. We’ve been given them, and we are grateful that we have them. To have abilities is a gift to know that we have abilities is a greater gift. Some people say that I have many hidden talents but the problem is they are hidden even from me.

So to to have talents is a gift to know that we have to know that we have talents is a greater gift but to know that our talents are a gift is the greatest gift to know that our talents are a gift is the greatest gift. So because Ravan was demoniac, he never thought of any power higher than us. He just thought my power is my power and I will use this power for whatever I want. However, it is for me to abuse, it is for me to commit atrocities, I I don’t care for anything else. So when our strengths lead to overconfidence, then they become weakness.

With our children also the when they do something good when they say come come first in our class they come they top in a competition naturally as parents we will be very proud of them we will be very happy about them and then we celebrate and that is good that’s natural but if we want to foster intrinsic self esteem there is intrinsic self esteem and there is extrinsic self esteem extrinsic self esteem is when I achieve something, then I am considered someone worthwhile. Intrinsic self esteem is whatever I achieve externally, I have innate self worth. So when we appreciate others, when we for example, parents appreciate the children when they achieve something wonderful, that is good at least at that time you should appreciate, no doubt, but if if we appreciate only when they achieve something, that leads to extrinsic self worth. The children start thinking that only when I achieve something, then my parents will appreciate me, then my parents will love me. If tomorrow I am not able to appreciate if I am not able to achieve this, then will my parents still love me?

Will my parents still have the same regard for me? And that can lead to a lot of insecurity. The other hand, instead of of course, we can and should appreciate achievement, but ultimately what is in our hands is commitment. Now so if we learn to appreciate our children for their commitment, say if they study regularly sometimes they may get great marks, sometimes they may not get such great marks they are studying regularly, and then we appreciate them for that commitment. Then that appreciating for commitment leads to intrinsic self worth because commitment is what is in their hands achievement is not in their hands and if we have also sometimes we ourselves might have self esteem issues that might also be because our self esteem is extrinsically centered Maybe we are just trying to win the approval of someone.

Sometimes that almost in everybody’s life there are some people whose approval we desperately crave for and those people they are super stingy about giving approval they might approve others for some small things and we do a big thing and they don’t approve they would appreciate they would approve. And everybody has 1 or 2 people like that in their lives. So often our own insecurities come because we are basing our self worth on external things. Of course, external things are important, but they are not all important. So, again, what is this is the flip side?

When we think of our strengths as our strengths, then when we are not able to act accordingly, then what something is wrong with me? Yes, something can be wrong with us, but it sometimes is nothing wrong with us. We tried our best, but things didn’t work out. So, our strengths become weaknesses when they lead to overconfidence among us. That was the first point I was going to make.

Any questions or comments till now? So now I will go to second point. Does anyone remember what the second point I was going to speak? How are weaknesses become strengths? So normally, now, nobody wants to be weak that is perfectly understandable, but there is a difference between having weaknesses and being a weakling.

A weakling is a person who is defined by their weaknesses, who self identifies with their weaknesses and thinks that, okay, my defining characteristic is this weakness. It like everybody goes through painful situations in their life. Sooner or later life victimizes everyone. So we may be victimized, but we do not have to be victims. So life victimizes everyone.

In the Mahabharata, there is the example of Karana. He was victimized. Although he was born in royalty, he was never given the credit of being born in royalty. He identified himself as a victim. But if you look at it, it was not Karana alone who was victimized.

Even the Pandavas were victimized. Although the Pandavas were born in royalty, they became orphans at a very small age. And then when they came back to their own home, what happened? Those who were supposed to protect them, they were a part of the conspiracy to kill them. Their uncle was supposed to be like their surrogate father and their uncle was a part of the conspiracy.

Who was their uncle? Dhritarashtra. Dhritarashtra, he was blind and he remained blind to his son Durodana’s plans to kill. So the Pandavas, they were royalty, but when they were just small children, just small teenagers, they had to their attempts were made to burn them alive, attempts were made to poison them, and they had to flee and live in the forest. So, they could also have complained, hey, you know, why is life so unfair?

The fact is that life is unfair to everyone sooner or later and of course, if we look at it from the other side just like say sometimes if you again going back to the example of cricket sometimes the batsman may be not out and the umpire use out. So, basically that is unfair and yes it is unfair but if a say batsman plays for 10 years 15 years there are sometimes in the batsman in not out and the batsman is given out and many times the opposite also happens is not it what is the opposite yeah the batsman is out but is not out so like that we can see that sometimes we have made no mistakes and still we get the blame I feel life is so unfair, but then we can also think of situation in our life when we made big mistakes, but we escaped the blame somehow nothing happened because of that. So in the overall analysis, we can say life evens out. But the point I am making over here is that we all can have weaknesses, but we do not have to identify as weak links. Yes, if we start letting that weakness define us.

So what do we mean by weaknesses? Sometimes we might be physically weak. Sometimes if we want to speak, but we might stutter, and we are not able to speak so well. Sometimes, we may feel that our looks are efficient. Sometimes our memory might be some people have outstanding memory and some people have outstandingly poor memory.

Just cannot remember. So, we all have weaknesses. In fact, not just weaknesses, all of us have painful inadequacies. Everyone is limited by some some inadequacy or the other. So now our weaknesses if we obsess over them that can lead to resentment that can lead to anger that can lead to self victimization, self pity.

So sometimes what happens? 2 people who have self pity what happens they come together and then they have a pity party. So instead, how can so how can our weaknesses become strengths? Our weaknesses can become strengths if our we if our weaknesses can foster some humility within us If our weaknesses make us recognize the need to seek the help of others, to seek the help of someone stronger than us. And ultimately, our weaknesses can inspire us, can impel us to take shelter of God and that is what happened to Vibhishan.

Now, Vibhishan was very virtuous, but in terms of physical power or political power, he was no match at that time to Rawan and he was giving advice repeatedly to Ravana and he begged Ravana and he says, if you hold on to Sita, you will be destroyed just return Sita but not only did Ravana reject his advice started accusing him. He says, you you know, I have treated you so well, but still you are viciously motivated against me. That’s why you are opposed to my happiness and my well-being. So, Bhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebhebheb don’t reject my advice. If you reject my advice, it will cause the destruction of the whole dynasty of Rakshasas.

But, Ravana was so arrogant, he just kicked the Vibhishan’s crown away. Now, at that time, Vibhishan left a court and he had three options. He thought that if I’m here right now, I can just I can say that this I tried my best but nothing worked, So, I can just take sannyas. I can just go to the Himalayas and renounce everything and let whatever is going to happen, happen. He says, but that will be abdication of my responsibility.

I am a member of the royal family and I have a duty toward the citizens. So, I cannot just renounce like that. Then he thought, maybe, I can organize a rebellion against Ravana among the rakshasas because not all rakshasas were vicious. I can organize them, overthrow them, overthrow our and then hand Sita to Ram so that this Ram’s attack on the rakshasas can be avoided and the destruction of Lanka can be avoided. He said, but no.

Because Ravana was so powerful, even those who opposed him, they would be called down in fear. They would not join the rebellion against him and because Ravana also had become very he had got a lot of prosperity. So, he had given a lot of prosperity to others also. So, people would not be impelled to rebel against him. So, just then he said the only option for me now is let me go to Ram and tell Ram that not all rakshasas are against you.

Your enmity is not against rakshasas. Your enmity is only against Ravana and those demons were assisting Ravana and that way I will ensure that the entire Raksha dynasty will not be destroyed. Now, when he came across, it was a great risk because if Ravan came to know that Bhuvishan has become a traitor, Ravan would not only kill him, but kill him in horrible ways. Those people are demonic there is tragedy and there is evil. See, tragedy is, say, if a storm occurs and a house collapses and somebody dies because of that that’s a tragedy.

So if, say, road accident occurs and a car’s brakes fail and the car goes over somebody and that they kill that person gets killed that’s a tragedy. So evil so tragedy causes pain but circumstantially it happens. Evil is where somebody intentionally desires to cause maximum pain maximum pain to someone. So somebody wants to kill someone and say they just don’t drive a car over their head. They drive over a car first over their feet and then the rest of their body again and again and again.

You know, those who are demoniac, they can be horrible. When Hitler was tyrannizing the whole of Europe and soon it became clear even to Germans that we can’t win this war. So, then they wanted to stop Hitler. So, 2, 3 of Hitler’s assistants, they, they conspired, they made a plan against him, and they tried to assassinate him, but somehow that plan failed. And when Hitler came to know about it, Hitler was so brutal that all those who had turned against him normally, say, at that time somebody is to be executed, you might hang them.

So normally when you hang, you hang by a rope and then the person’s neck gets choked. So he hung them by you could say plastic bands And what happened by that? Like it took 11 days for the neck to get cut. So 11 days they were in horrible pain. So this is this is not just tragedy, this is evil.

Evil is where somebody consciously causes enormous pain to someone else knowingly. So, this is a horrible topic we are going to discuss, but the point I am talking about here is that, Ravan was that kind of person and if Ravan came to know that Vibishan has turned against me, and if Ravan was somehow able to catch Vibishan, then he would have done that he would have caused untold pain to Vibishan. So not only was he risking the anger of Raul, but he was also he did not know whether Ram would accept him or not because after all, he was a rakshasa, but he took that risk. And he took that risk. Ram just observed him, and Ram could see his heart, and Ram accepted him.

And Ram told some of the Vanaras said, no, we don’t know. He’s a demon. He might not he might have some ulterior motives. So, at that time, Ram spoke of famous words. He says, Vratam mama, this is my wow.

What is it? That even if once somebody surrenders to me saying, oh lord, I am yours. Says I will grant them fearlessness forever. And that time, Ram says that even if Raval comes and surrenders, I will grant shelter even to Ravana and then not only does he accept Vibhishad, but immediately he asked the Vanaras to get some water from the ocean and with the water sanctified through mantras, he coronates Vibhishan as the king of Lanka. Now when Ravan hears this Ravan is outraged he is shocked sometimes what happens we are surprised about something unexpected happening sometimes we are so surprised that we just become completely thoughtless what to do so this is that kind of shock he says I am the king and somebody is already enfranchised as the king Let us say if there is a political elections and even before the election has started somebody says I am the prime minister what?

So Rajas, Ravan, this actually indicated Ram’s confidence, but it is also a way of sending a message to Rahuand. Rahuand just tried to minimize and dismiss. He says what is the use of this coronation? He says one beggar has enthroned another beggar as a king it’s useless so he didn’t he didn’t take it very seriously but then after that one of the wanderers he said that you know you said that if Ravana comes and surrenders then you said that you will forgive Ravana, but he says, now you have promised Vibhishan that you will give Lanka to him. If Ravana comes now, what will you do?

If Ravana surrenders now, now, what does he say? Ram says, I will give Ayodhya to him. So the point over here is that Vibhishan recognized his weakness, but rather than wallowing in his weakness, feeling sorry for himself, what did he do? He connected with a supremely strong being and that alliance with Ram became his greatest strength. Many times, it is our weakness, it is in the weakest moments that we turn towards God.

It is at that time when we feel the need of someone bigger than ours to have an active role in our lives. So, if our weaknesses can bring humility within us, if our weaknesses can help us to connect with others to seek others’ help and ultimately seek Krishna’s seek the Lord’s help, then those weaknesses can become our strengths. Now, generally, in our life, when we want to form a relationship with someone, if somebody is a very impressive person, we are attracted by that no doubt but generally, when do we become close to someone is when they when they admit their vulnerabilities. Generally, when we are interacting with people, we all have our shields above because we don’t want to be hurt. So we we conceal our weaknesses.

We put on a facade. And to some extent, for functional purposes in the world, it’s required. But if you want to come close to someone, if somebody shares the painful experiences from their life, if somebody shares their weaknesses, their shortcomings, their difficulties, then what happens is they are lowering their guard and that is when we feel, we see not just their greatness, but we also see their humanness and that is what brings us closer to each other. So, what happens, sometimes if we just keep our guards, then the relationships can never go very close to each other. So our weaknesses, if we do not try to conceal them, but we try to be in the right forum with the right people, we we we admit our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities.

Not that we hold on to them, but then we seek help to deal with them. Then our weaknesses admitting our weaknesses can actually make us stronger because it can connect us better with others. When this whole series of superheroes started there is Spiderman, there is Superman, there is Batman, all these, of course, not just man, there is wonder woman and so many others. So, when all these started, initially what happened was that this this sort of movie started and then they started making superman more and more and more powerful. So, initially superman could fly in the sky, but then afterwards superman had enough power that even if a even if a meteorite came to hit earth, just catch it and throw it away and once Superman became like God then Superman’s popularity started going down Why?

Because if there is no weakness, if you can do anything and everything, then there is no adventure left in it. Isn’t it? The adventure is there when we have some characters may have some extraordinary strengths, but they also have limitations and within those limitations, they tap some strengths and do something special. So what happens is that its weaknesses not not that if somebody is a weakling, they are not very not at all attractive to anyone, but somebody who admits their weaknesses and deals with those weaknesses or finds a way to move forward in spite of those weaknesses. That is what is very endearing.

Now, there are some people who are impressive and there are some people who are inspiring. Impressive is wow, you are so great. Inspiring is oh, you are so great, I can also become great like that. So those who are impressive simply cause us admiration, but those who are inspiring, they cause us to transform ourselves, to improve ourselves. So, our weaknesses don’t have to make us a weakling.

Vibhishan was weaker than Ravana, but he was no weakling because he connected with Ram. He became stronger than Raman also. So for all of us, we can we all have weaknesses and sometimes we may, we may feel those weaknesses in very painful way because others might be better than us and others might get better things than us because of our weaknesses but if rather than obsessing over those weaknesses, we use those weaknesses as impetuses to connect, connect with others and connect ultimately with Krishna. Then those weaknesses can be the channels by which those connections become stronger. Ultimately, our devotion can become stronger.

So, our weaknesses can become strengths if they increase our humility. They lead to the admission of our humanity and they help us connect with others and with the lord. And the last point, this is the second point was that we talk our weaknesses can become strengths. And last point is, well, summary of what I spoke that weaknesses and strengths, how can we take all of, how can we take both of them together? It requires courage to accept our weaknesses, and it also requires courage to accept ourselves with our weaknesses.

Courage to accept our weaknesses is, you know, okay, I can’t do this I can’t do this that requires courage, but if I can’t do this, if I can take that forward and say, I’m useless. Then it requires courage to accept ourselves with our weaknesses. Yes, I have these weaknesses, but still I am a part of God. There is a spark of divinity within me, and therefore, I have intrinsic self worth. So, what the Bhagavad Gita tells us and what the Bhakti Liktivipa Charyan Jaindl tells us that each one of us is an inalienable part of God.

Each one of us is precious in the eyes of God and God cares for us not because of what we do for him. He cares for us or not it is not that he stops caring for us if we do something wrong. He cares for us simply because of who he is and who we are at our core. So, if we can raise our vision above this world towards God, then that can give us a sublime sense of inner security because that is one anchor in our life which will never shake. No storm in the world has the power to shake the anchor of God.

He is the unchanging North Pole in our life. He can always show us direction and the stronger we connect with Him, there is a storm and we are being battered by the storm. It is the anchor that is not shaking. But what we need to do is we need to hold on to that anchor. And bhakti yoga is a time honored process of tightening our hold on the anchor of God.

Bhakti yoga is not just about doing some religious rituals, maybe go to a temple, go to some go to do some rituals, do some pooja all these are okay, but all these are meant for a purpose. The purpose is to strengthen our inner connection with God, to strengthen our hold on the one unshakable anchor in our life. So if we understand that our strengths are gifts from God, then even while using our strengths, we can be conscious and grateful to God. As by God’s grace, I have been given some strengths. So, let me use those strengths in a mood of service, in a mood of contribution.

Then those strengths will not lead to arrogance it will not lead to overconfidence because we understand that these strengths which I have are gifts. And sometimes when those strengths do not manifest through us, we have talents, but say, we are out of form At that time, we still continue doing our best in a mood of devotion that when that magical thing manifests to me, I will do something I may do something extraordinary. When it does not, I still do something ordinary, but that does not make me insignificant because we do not let ourselves be defined by the because we do not let ourselves be defined by the results that we get in the world. We define ourselves by our connection with God. If we define ourselves by the results, when the results do not come, we will be devastated, But if we define ourselves by our connection with God and by the contribution that we can make in connection with him, then our strengths, whether they manifest through us or they don’t manifest through us, we will be able to move forward in our life.

So some days, we will be able to do wonderful things by the higher strengths manifesting through us. Some days, we will not be able to do wonderful things, but still by our commitment, we will be able to do something worthwhile. And as far as our weaknesses, we can see our weaknesses also as opportunities to that make us turn towards God. How? Because our weaknesses remind us that we are finite beings, we are limited beings.

Our weaknesses remind us that we are not God, that we are not supreme. And in that way, if our weaknesses remind us of the need of connecting with someone higher, then those weaknesses can also become our strengths. And over a period of time, we will each one of us learn how best to manage our weaknesses. Some weaknesses by our persistent practice, we will be able to overcome them and we will become strong in them. Some weaknesses, we will learn to live with them.

This is how it is, but I can still move on in my life. And either way, whether we are able to overcome the weaknesses or we have to live with the weaknesses, if we let ourselves be defined by our connection with God, that we understand I am a part of God, then those weaknesses may, may limit us from doing specific things, but the weaknesses won’t limit us in our onward flow in life. We will, if say, I conclude with this metaphor let us say, if we consider our consciousness and our life to be like a river which is flowing towards the ocean and that ocean is god, Then there are different channels by which water can flow. So, we all have different roles in our life. We may have a role I am a parent I am a spouse I am a son or daughter of someone I am a professional I am this and that.

We all have different roles. We have different responsibilities. We have different talents for doing those roles. I’m a artist. I’m a speaker.

I’m a cook, whatever. Now, all these are like channels through which the water of our consciousness is meant to flow towards God. And if we define ourselves by one thing, if my defining identity is that, say, I define myself solely as a parent and if my child starts going along some wrong track, then I’ll start thinking my life itself is useless. Now, it’s not like that. Our children are also growing, we are also growing, everybody matures.

There’s an American author who said that when I was 15, my father was a fool. Now I am 25, and I am amazed how much the old guy has learned in the last 10 years. So it just happen that as people grow they also that is not that the father learned in 10 years, father may also learn, but rather the child who is a 15 or 25 their perspective also changes. So, sometimes we overreact and we take others’ actions too personally we take life’s failures too personally. But if you understand this is one channel and presently this channel is blocked if it is blocked, still let the water of my consciousness flow to other channels.

And if we keep our consciousness flowing in this way, then even if we may have to live with some pain in our life because in each block channel, it will cause us some pain. Any weakness, it will cause us some pain. We may have to live with pain, but we don’t have to live in pain. That pain will be a part of our life, but pain won’t consume our life. We have other channels through which we keep moving forward, and gradually, we will find that not only will that pain end, but that pain will stimulate our growth.

Pain will help us to understand ourselves better and to grow better, grow more in our lives. And ultimately, if we stay connected with God, we will discover that life can hurt us in many ways, but greater than life’s power to hurt is God’s power to heal. Greater than life’s power to hurt is God’s power to heal. If we stay connected with God, then we let God give us that experience, give us that conviction and that conviction will be our greatest asset in this life and beyond this life. So, I will summarize.

I spoke today on this topic of confidence over confidence and diffidence when strengths become weaknesses and when weaknesses become strengths. So I started by talking about life is like a struggle in which we are all trying to get some power. So we want to discover our strengths, and even in relationship, we want some strength so that we can move forward in this. But if those strengths lead us to overconfidence or arrogance, then the strength can become weakness because we are good at doing one thing. If we think I can always do it or I can do everything, then we stop exercising vigilance and when our confidence is without vigilance, it leads to our confidence.

So I talked about Rauhar. He was so powerful and he got further power by his boons that he started becoming dismissive of the power of everyone else and thus he quoted danger and eventually disaster. Although others warned him, he neglected Vibishan’s warning. Although Hanuman demonstrated to him the power of one servant of Ram in devastating his entire defenses, but he just dismissed it. They caught he caught us by surprise.

And he lived in his own echo chamber and does he his strength became the cause of his downfall his strength became his weakness then I talk about how weaknesses can become our so there also I talk about how many creative people, authors and others, they become suicidal or they become manically depressed. That is because today’s idea is that if somebody is very talented, we say, you are a genius. The more appropriate way, you have a genius. That means, some higher talent or higher source of the talent is manifesting through you. We are grateful that it manifests to the extent we take sole credit for our successes to that extent, we will have to take the sole blame for our failures and when we want to guide our children, if we appreciate them only for the achievements, that leads to extrinsic self esteem, but when we appreciate them for their commitment, that leads to intrinsic self esteem.

And then they talked about how our weaknesses can become our strengths. Everybody is victimized in life, sometime or other. But if we let the victimization define us, we become victims. In the Mahabharata, Karuna, let that victimization define him. The Pandas are also victimized, but they never let themselves be identified as victims.

So we have weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, but we don’t have to be weaklings. And our weaknesses can become strengths if they foster humility within us, if they remind us of our humanity and help and make us seek connections with others. Even with other people, we might impress others by showing how strong we are, are. It is only when we admit our vulnerabilities then people see our humanity and then become closer to each other and it is admitting our weaknesses our vulnerability that is what actually ultimately inspires us to take shelter of God.

So, I talked about that Vibhishan was weaker than Ravan, but that his very weakness inspired him to take shelter of Ram and by that connection with Ram, he was able to overcome not only Rawat, but he was able to do his royal duty of protecting all the citizens of Lanka who were not actively abetting Rawat in his evil designs. I talked about the difference between evil and tragedy evil is mallebulently intentionally causing an extra pain to people. And then I talked about our strengths if we are conscious that they are gifts To have talents is fortunate, to know that we have talents is more fortunate to know that our talents are gifts is most fortunate. So if we can if our strengths, when we use exercising our strengths, we remember that these are gifts from God, then our strengths can also take us towards God, And if our weaknesses, they inspire us to call out to God, then our weaknesses can also be agents that help us to compel us to connect with him. And in that way, if we consider a consciousness like a channel or like a water flowing toward the ocean of toward the ocean of God, then our strengths are like those channels which are widely open, and our weaknesses are like the channels which are very closed, which are very narrow or almost closed.

So even if something is blocked, we don’t obsess over it. That blockage will cause pain. You may have to live with pain, but you don’t have to live in pain. And through leveraging our strengths, if we keep our consciousness flowing toward God, then even if life hurts us, if we stay connected with God, he is like the unshakable anchor by connecting with him through the practice of bhakti, we can get strength even amidst life’s greatest storms and then by holding on to God, we will discover that greater than life’s power to hurt is god’s power to heal. So any questions or comments?

Yes. You mentioned that Ravan is so demoniac. In one of the preaching programs, I was asked a question. Who is more demoniac? I didn’t know what to answer.

Okay. Who is more demoniac? Here in Nakashipu or Rawan? Well, there is, no demoniacness measuring meter for comparing who is more demoniac in general what we see is that our goodness or our badness is seen through our actions but it is also seen through the actions that we do in particular situations. Say, if somebody asks us, please give me a glass of water.

Say, go and take it yourself. Imagine that’s that’s rudeness, and it’s bad. But if somebody is in a hospital bed and they cannot move and they say, ‘Please give me a glass of water’ and we say, ‘Get it yourself.’ That is not just rudeness that is cruelness that is much, much worse. So, that means how bad an action is determined not just by the content of the action but also by the context of the action. So, if we consider that way, Hiranyakashipu, he consciously, knowingly turned against his own son and he tried to kill his own son which was very brutal.

Now, Rawat, as far as we know, if he had got an opportunity, he would have killed Bhebishan also, but he did not do that directly. Of course, it is said that Shurpanakha had Shurpanakha was married her husband was Dushta Buddhi. This is his husband was started becoming very powerful. So then Ravana sent him with a army to fight against some dheutas, and then he told the whole army secretly to withdraw. So that Dushtubbhudya left to fight alone, and Dushtubbhudya was killed.

So when Shurpanakha came to know about it, she went mad after that. Initially, she was mad because she had become a widow. But afterward, when she came to know her own brother had killed that caused the death of her husband, she just went so crazy that she decides somehow or the other I have to get back at Ravana, and that’s why she tried to she seductively describes Sita’s beauty so that Ravana would try to abduct Sita, and then Ram would come and destroy her. So you could say that, Ravana also killed a family member. But still, that is, you know, killing your brother-in-law or causing the death of brother-in-law is quite different from directly trying to kill one’s own son.

So in that context you could say that Hiranyakashippu is more demoniac than Ravana. Now another way of looking at it could be that Hiranyakashipu never tried to abduct the the goddess of fortune. Ravana tried to do that. It was only because of a curse that Ravana was stopped. Ravana could not physically violate Sita, but he was demonic.

So I would say if we use different parameters, we could say that, we could say that, say, in this in the context of trying to assassinate his own son, Hiranyakashi was more demoniac. But in terms of trying to directly abduct the lord’s consort, we can say Rama is more demoniac. Okay? Thank you. Yes, Ravan.

When you talk about the, you got a weakness, and you need to show your humility and have connection with the god. Other people tend to take advantage of that weakness. Okay. Yeah. I think that is true.

So if we show our weakness then won’t other people take advantage of it. Yes, of course, that is why I said carefully in the right with the with the right person with the right person. See, we all have different kinds of relationship with different people. I was talking only in the context that if you want to develop a close relationship with someone and while trying to develop a close relationship, if we just keep a facade, then, you know, I am so good, I am invulnerable, I am this. Yes, it is true, but then if you want to develop close relationship, there are times when we need to admit our weaknesses also, we need to admit our wounds.

If a warrior and that warrior is fighting, even if the warrior is wounded, the warrior will conceal the wounds, so that they can keep fighting, because if the opponent understand that you are wounded, the opponent will attack with greater vigor. So on the war field, the warrior needs to as much as possible conceal the wound, so that they can fight wholeheartedly, and they can keep the enemy from not getting a extra advantage or extra fillip. But when they come back, you know, they they have to admit their wounds. If somebody is nursing them, somebody is going to heal them, they have to admit their wounds over there. So even if they are very powerful, they have to admit their weakness at that time.

So similarly, if if we are in a confrontational role with someone, at that time, it is not appropriate to admit our weaknesses. At that time, we we have to put a best best foot forward. So humility does not mean admitting our weaknesses alone is not humility. Humility essentially means that we don’t let our ego come in the way of our purpose. And if this is important for me I will do it even if I am criticized for this even if the world disapproves but still I will do that so that is that is humility we do not let our ego come in the way of our purpose but practically it is not that anywhere and everywhere we should admit our weaknesses.

If we have to do a particular job, then we have to tell at that time what are the credentials for that job. Now we might have some disqualifications which may also need to be told at the appropriate time if it is required. Say if you are applying for a job and you fill your CV and the CV you tell all the thing that you do not know. I do not know French. I do not know German.

I do not know echo. I do not know economics. I do not know this. I do not know say get lost, isn’t it? You have to tell what you know, but along with that if you have to do a specific thing which you are not able to do then at appropriate time we need to admit a weakness, does that answer your question.

So thank you very much.