How to avoid getting angry with people having opposite opinions?

Question, whenever we are confronted by someone with a different opinion or different ideology, our first nature is that we are given to our impulses and become angry. How do we deal with that? Answer, anger management is a very individual activity and each one of us has to find out what is it that is triggering our anger. Broadly, especially in terms of the educational context, there could be three things.

One is we are just angry that a worldview or ideology different from ours exists. Second is that we are angry with the attitude of the other person who seems irrational, sentimental or even arrogant or judgment, arrogant or dismissive of us, disrespectful and dismissive of us. And third is that we ourselves are insecure and we feel threatened because we are not able to prove the correctness of our philosophy.

So, in the first, if it is the first case, we have to get used to the fact that there are always going to be different schools of thought. Even Krishna himself in the Bhagavad Gita, in the 18th chapter, talks about two schools of thought. Those who say that Yajna Tapa should never be given up and those who say that Yajna Tapa should be given up.

And Krishna says that, in 18.3, he refers to even those who hold an opinion that is opposite to his, that they should be given up. He calls them even as Manishinaha. So, there Krishna does not look at the conclusion of their thought process or their philosophy.

He sees the fact that they are at least considering how to be disentangled from the world. Even if how exact, their strategy or their method for disentangling themselves is not what Krishna recommends. So, like that, even if somebody has a different philosophy, the fact that they have a philosophy and that they have put in some thought into it, to at least consider a more philosophically informed way to live, we can appreciate that.

Second is, if the person is, person’s attitude is an issue, then we have to decide whether we are the best person to deal with that person. Maybe we are not and we can just offer them our respects and keep a distance from them. In 3.26, Krishna says, na buddhi-bhedam janaye dhagyanaam karva-sangeenaam.

Don’t disturb the minds of those who are ignorant. So, sometimes giving a cutting or a savage reply might make them a bit humble and take us a little more seriously and respectfully. But that kind of approach is a double-edged sword.

And only if we are good at it, should we try it. Otherwise, it’s best not to even try to use anger to make a point. It’s just best to end the interaction according to note and move on.

Third is, if it’s our own insecurity that is causing the anger, then we need to ensure that our spirituality is not based on such an external foundation where we need to be able to prove to others that our thought system is right. Only then we have our own faith and confidence. Ultimately, spirituality is not so much for proving as it is for improving.

So, if we have practiced and we have found that we have improved by the practice, then that itself should be sufficient for us to be able to move on in our life. Maybe we can dwell more on how the philosophy has benefited us and recognize that just because we are not able to persuade someone does not mean a failure for us at a personal level. It just means that the basis of our faith has to be shifted from outward to inward.

Thank you.