New Year Resolutions and Three Kinds of Determination GEV

Today, let’s discuss determination and why it sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. When we make resolutions, we often start with sincerity and earnestness. Yet, many times, we fail to stick to them. Why does this happen?

The Bhagavad Gita explains that one of the key steps in self-realization is understanding the forces that act within us. Often, we attempt to control the outer world, believing we can bend it to our will. However, our inner world is equally, if not more, important.

Sometimes, we feel as though something else takes over us—an inner demon that makes us act in ways we neither recognize nor approve of. In moments of anger, for instance, some people scream without substance, while others lose their ability to express themselves effectively. Both responses reflect an inner struggle.

The modes of material nature, as described in the Gita, are like invisible puppeteer strings within us. Unlike external ropes, these internal strings pull us from within, making it difficult to even realize their existence, let alone their influence.

Imagine this: the mind is like a TV, and the soul is a child watching it. The modes of material nature pull the mind in different directions, distracting and controlling us. Just like a person so absorbed in watching TV that they fail to notice a thief stealing it, we become so engrossed in our thoughts and desires that we lose control over ourselves.

The soul, however, is immovable and cannot be controlled directly. It is the mind that gets influenced. To regain control, we need to become aware of these internal forces and learn to transcend them.

In the next part, I’ll talk about practical solutions to overcome these challenges and gain mastery over the mind.

When we get distracted, deluded, or even feel destroyed, what exactly happens? There are two main points to consider:

1. The mind gets pulled away.
2. We, as souls, get pulled away.

We will discuss determination in two steps. First, we try to prevent the mind from getting pulled away. Second, even if the mind does get distracted, we ensure that we, as souls, don’t get pulled away. These are the two essential ways we can maintain focus.

How the Modes of Nature Affect Determination

Before exploring focus, let’s examine how the three modes of nature—sattva (goodness), rajas (passion), and tamas (ignorance)—influence our determination.

Our relationship with ourselves begins with how we view ourselves. Just as our vision of others shapes our relationship with them, our self-perception determines our internal relationship. For example, if we think of someone as proud or talented, that perception becomes the foundation of our interaction with them. Similarly, how we see ourselves impacts our actions and attitudes.

1. Sattva (Goodness):
   • Associated with clarity and focus.
   • In this mode, we seek self-improvement and engage in activities that help us grow. For example, meditation becomes meaningful as it allows us to think clearly and introspect.
2. Rajas (Passion):
   • Characterized by hyperactivity and ostentation.
   • In this mode, resolutions are often about showing off to others rather than genuine self-transformation. For instance, someone might make a resolution to appear busy or gain approval from others.
3. Tamas (Ignorance):
   • Marked by lethargy and a sense of futility.
   • Here, even making resolutions can lead to shaming oneself. For example, someone might make unrealistic resolutions (e.g., “I’ll completely change my life by making 108 resolutions”) and end up failing, which results in feelings of failure and despair.

The Progression in the Mode of Ignorance

Krishna describes the progression of emotions under tamas:

• Swapnam (Daydreaming): A person starts with unrealistic daydreams.
• Bhayam (Fear): Unrealistic expectations lead to anxiety and existential fear.
• Shokam (Lamentation): Failing to meet those expectations leads to complaints and whining.
• Vishadam (Moroseness): Persistent disappointment can lead to habitual negativity, where a person remains stuck in a downward emotional spiral.

Balancing Relationships and Expectations

In relationships, trust is key. However, trustworthiness isn’t just about character; it also involves competence. For example:

• Someone might be trustworthy in keeping secrets but unreliable in completing tasks on time.
• Recognizing these nuances helps us adjust our expectations and interact more effectively with others.

Similarly, in our relationship with ourselves, understanding our limitations is crucial. For instance, someone recovering from alcoholism must recognize that they cannot trust themselves around alcohol. Acknowledging such weaknesses isn’t a sign of failure but a step toward progress.

To maintain focus and foster healthy relationships, we need both clarity and realistic self-assessment. Avoid making resolutions to impress others or indulging in unrealistic daydreams. Instead, focus on shaping yourself, and ensure your actions are guided by determination rooted in sattva, not rajas or tamas.

Trust and Resolutions in Tamoguna (Mode of Ignorance)

One part of trusting ourselves is knowing when we cannot trust ourselves. In Tamoguna (the mode of ignorance), this self-awareness is absent. We end up making resolutions that we subconsciously know we won’t keep. When we fail to keep these resolutions, we beat ourselves up emotionally and spiral into negativity.

A psychologist friend of mine in Colorado (not Arizona) mentioned that the number of people seeking therapy spikes about 1–2 months after the New Year. Many people make New Year’s resolutions but fail to stick to them by the end of January. This failure often leads to feelings of depression, driving them to seek help.

In Tamoguna, resolutions often become a source of self-shame rather than self-improvement. This toxic state of self-relationship perpetuates a cycle of negativity.

Resolutions in Rajoguna (Mode of Passion)

In Rajoguna, resolutions are motivated by a desire for specific outcomes or external results. Krishna describes this as:

“यत् कर्मफलहेतुना दृत्या धार्यते अर्जुन।”
(Resolutions are made with an intense focus on the desired results.)

While seeking results is not inherently bad, problems arise when the process is disregarded, and the emphasis shifts solely to the product. Let’s explore this dynamic:

Meditation and the Rajoguna Approach

Meditation has gained popularity worldwide due to its scientifically proven benefits in calming the mind. Brain scans show that individuals who meditate exhibit calmer and more composed neural activity. In response, billion-dollar projects have been launched to develop “meditation helmets,” which aim to stimulate specific brain areas to mimic the effects of meditation.

The concept of a “meditation helmet” reflects a Rajasic mindset: seeking shortcuts to results without engaging in the actual process. However, this approach misses the essence of meditation. The calmness seen in brain scans is a result of meditation, not its cause or essence. It’s akin to saying, “I have a machine that will make you happy by forcing your face to smile.” While you can manipulate the external smile, it doesn’t generate true happiness.

Resolutions and Weight Loss

In Rajoguna, the focus on results sometimes leads to extreme measures. For example, bariatric surgery (stapling the stomach to reduce food intake) has become a popular weight-loss method. While it helps many lose weight, studies show that 70–90% of women who undergo bariatric surgery end up divorcing their partners. This surprising statistic has led to the inclusion of mandatory marriage counseling before surgery.

This example highlights how the Rajasic pursuit of results often disregards the broader impact of the process. Resolutions made under the influence of Rajoguna prioritize outcomes over holistic well-being, potentially causing unintended consequences.

Reflection

In both Tamoguna and Rajoguna, resolutions can lead to negative outcomes when not rooted in awareness and balance. Tamoguna fosters shame and self-doubt, while Rajoguna drives us toward unsustainable or superficial goals. True progress lies in balancing determination with mindfulness, ensuring that our actions align with our values and lead to holistic growth.

Resolutions in Rajoguna: Fixation on External Goals

In Rajoguna (the mode of passion), resolutions are often fixated on external results, leading to toxic consequences. For example, many individuals undergo bariatric surgery with the belief that being thinner and more attractive will enable them to find “better” partners. This mindset often disrupts existing relationships, as studies show that 70–90% of women who undergo bariatric surgery end up divorcing their partners.

The deeper issue lies in the Rajasic tendency to prioritize results over the process. People take shortcuts or focus on creating a facade of change rather than undergoing genuine transformation.

Superficial Change vs. Real Change

For example, there are products and methods that enable people to hide their addictions. Someone who drinks excessively might use chemicals to mask the smell of alcohol. Similarly, a smoker might use products to cover the odor of tobacco. These methods don’t address the root of the addiction; they merely help individuals pretend that they’ve changed.

This focus on appearances creates a facade that eventually collapses, leading to a return to Tamoguna (ignorance) and perpetuating a toxic cycle. Superficial change without inner transformation is unsustainable. Deep within, we know we are pretending, and this knowledge fosters inner conflict and discontent.

Sattvic Resolutions: Genuine Inner Change

In contrast, resolutions in Sattvaguna (the mode of goodness) focus on genuine transformation. They are not about showing others that we’ve changed or shaming ourselves into change; they are about shaping ourselves.

Krishna describes this in the Bhagavad Gita (14.11):
“सर्वद्वारेषु देहेऽस्मिन प्रकाश उपजायते।”
(“In the mode of goodness, there is illumination in all the senses.”)

This illumination doesn’t mean physical light emanates from our body. Instead, it signifies awareness—being mindful of what enters and exits our consciousness through our senses. A sattvic person is aware of what they see, hear, eat, and speak, as well as how they act.

Sattvic change begins with this clarity and awareness, enabling us to shape ourselves through conscious actions.

Sustaining Determination: A Practical Framework

Krishna explains in the Bhagavad Gita (6.35) that determination can be sustained through abhyasa (practice) and vairagya (detachment). Let’s explore these principles through a practical framework:

1. Abhyasa: Persistence through Bonds

Persistence involves creating bonds or habits that reinforce positive behavior. For example, if someone wants to recover from alcoholism, forming bonds with supportive communities or engaging in constructive activities helps them stay on track.

2. Vairagya: Abstinence through Boundaries

Abstinence becomes easier when we establish boundaries. For instance, if someone recovering from alcoholism lives next to a bar, their proximity increases the risk of relapse. Creating physical or environmental boundaries—like avoiding bars or keeping alcohol out of the home—reduces temptation.

Krishna highlights this principle in the Bhagavad Gita (2.58):
“यदा संहरते चायं कुर्वोंऽगानीव सर्वशः।”
(“Just as a tortoise withdraws its limbs, one should withdraw from harmful engagements.”)

By creating safe spaces and limiting distractions, we prevent the mind from being pulled toward temptation.

Practical Tips for Self-Discipline

1. Set Boundaries: Reduce access to distractions or temptations. For example, if you want to study scriptures, avoid lying in bed or sitting in a dark room where sleep becomes tempting. Instead, choose a well-lit, distraction-free space like a library.
2. Cultivate Supportive Bonds: Engage with individuals or groups who inspire and motivate you. Community support can reinforce determination and provide accountability.
3. Adjust the Environment: Modify your surroundings to make it easier to persist with positive habits. For example, if you feel sleepy while studying, create a space where sleeping isn’t an easy option.

Sattvic resolutions focus on genuine inner transformation rather than external appearances or shortcuts. By practicing abhyasa and vairagya, we can create an environment conducive to sustained determination and self-improvement. These practices help us move beyond the superficial changes of Rajoguna and the toxic self-doubt of Tamoguna, leading to lasting, meaningful growth.

Preventing the Mind from Getting Pulled Away

The nature of the mind is to wander. It is not the act of the mind going astray that is the primary issue, but our inability to bring it back. When the mind gets pulled away, we often lack a compelling reason to return to focus. Instead of simply lamenting the deviation and beating ourselves up over it, we need to cultivate strategies to guide the mind back with intention and purpose.

Giving the Mind a Reason to Return

1. Create Bonds of Attraction
   Just as the mind is naturally drawn to distractions, we need to give it positive anchors that pull it back toward our goals. For example, if we are trying to focus on spiritual growth, we can make our environment inspiring—listening to uplifting music, chanting, or surrounding ourselves with supportive people who encourage our aspirations.
2. Establish Boundaries Against Temptation
   The mind is more likely to wander when distractions are easily accessible. Creating physical and mental boundaries can help. For instance, if we are trying to avoid social media while working, logging out or turning off notifications can create a barrier that makes distractions less tempting.
3. Cultivate Awareness
   When the mind starts to wander, the first step is to notice it without judgment. By cultivating mindfulness, we can gently bring the mind back to the task at hand without berating ourselves for the deviation. As Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita (6.26):
   “Wherever the mind wanders, due to its flickering and unsteady nature, one must certainly withdraw it and bring it back under the control of the self.”
4. Focus on Krishna’s Grace
   Ultimately, in the bhakti tradition, it is Krishna’s mercy that transforms us. However, our sincere endeavor—through abhyas (persistent practice) and vairagya (detachment)—shows Krishna that we genuinely desire His grace. Our efforts serve as the wings that carry us toward divine transformation.

Determination in the Three Modes

Resolutions and determination can manifest differently depending on the mode of nature (guna) influencing us:

1. Tamoguna (Ignorance)

• Nature: In this mode, resolutions are weak and self-defeating. We make promises to ourselves that we know we won’t keep, leading to shame and self-loathing.
• Example: Making unrealistic New Year’s resolutions and feeling depressed when we fail to achieve them.

2. Rajoguna (Passion)

• Nature: In this mode, resolutions are focused on external results, often disregarding the process. There is an emphasis on showing change rather than experiencing genuine transformation.
• Example: Seeking shortcuts like bariatric surgery for weight loss without addressing the underlying habits, or pretending to overcome addictions without true inner change.

3. Sattvaguna (Goodness)

• Nature: In this mode, resolutions are about shaping oneself through clarity, awareness, and conscious action. There is a balance between the process and the outcome, with an emphasis on genuine growth.
• Example: Practicing mindfulness to cultivate awareness of what enters and exits our consciousness, and aligning our actions with our long-term goals.

The Role of Endeavor and Grace

While our determination and effort are important, they are not the sole factors in transformation. In bhakti, our efforts (abhyas and vairagya) are expressions of our sincerity in seeking Krishna’s mercy. Krishna’s grace is the ultimate catalyst for change, but it is our endeavor that demonstrates our readiness and eagerness to receive it.

Summary

1. Modes and Their Influence: The three modes of nature—ignorance, passion, and goodness—shape our resolutions and determination in distinct ways.
2. Preventing the Mind’s Wandering: Focus on creating bonds of attraction, establishing boundaries, and cultivating mindfulness to guide the mind back when it strays.
3. Transformation through Grace and Effort: Effort and discipline show our desire for Krishna’s grace, which ultimately brings about lasting transformation.

By understanding the interplay of modes and aligning our resolutions with sattvaguna, we can make meaningful progress and deepen our connection with Krishna.

In tamas (ignorance), we often end up shaming ourselves. Let me explain the whole sequence. It begins with unrealistic daydreaming—setting goals or resolutions that are far removed from our actual capabilities or circumstances. Instead of sticking to these resolutions, we begin to dread them. This dread leads to whining, which escalates to resentment—not just toward the resolutions, but toward our entire life.

We become morose, emotionally weighed down, and in an attempt to escape from reality, we might resort to intoxicants or distractions. Eventually, this downward spiral can lead to suicidal urges—a point where life feels unbearable, and even the self becomes unbearable. Suicide, in essence, is like breaking up with oneself.

This highlights the importance of making resolutions that are realistic and aligned with our capabilities. To be trustworthy, we need to recognize when we are not trustworthy. This self-awareness allows us to acknowledge the areas where we might falter and approach our commitments with humility and clarity.

In rajas (passion), the focus shifts outward—toward how we appear to others. When impressing others becomes the priority, we start seeking shortcuts to display results without actually achieving them. This could involve superficial solutions like meditation helmets, bariatric surgery, or technological fixes that bypass the real process of growth. Similarly, some might pretend to have overcome addictions, concealing the underlying problems with medication or substances.

Finally, in sattva (goodness), determination becomes about shaping ourselves rather than just achieving results. True transformation happens through understanding. I like to use the metaphor of us and our mind being like a TV. Sometimes the TV pulls us away, and sometimes we pull ourselves away from it. Growth requires addressing both aspects.

We shape ourselves through two key practices:

1. Vairagya (detachment): Creating supportive external boundaries that prevent distractions or temptations from overwhelming us.
2. Abhyasa (persistence): Developing internal strength and forming meaningful bonds.

Bonds give us reasons to stay committed, even when the mind tempts us to stray. They act as anchors, bringing us back to our purpose. Both bonds and boundaries, coupled with Krishna’s mercy, enable us to progress toward becoming transparent and aligned with our spiritual goals.

Thank you very much. Hare Krishna.

Question:

Should we avoid associations that are detrimental to our well-being?

Yes, we should. Asat-sanga—association with people whose influence can harm our consciousness—should be approached with care. The key question is: Am I at a stage where I can interact with this person without being negatively affected?

Interactions with others can lead to two outcomes:

1. Pulling them up: If you are strong in your consciousness, your association might inspire and elevate them.
2. Being pulled down: If your foundation is shaky, their influence might weaken or harm your progress.

To discern which outcome is likely, we need regular self-reflection and awareness of our mental and spiritual state. Recognize your limits and choose wisely. It’s not about moral superiority but about protecting and nurturing your consciousness.

Let’s consider an example: someone comes to us and gossips—this person is like this, that person is like that, and so on. Sometimes, people are simply hurt and need to vent. In such cases, listening to them with empathy can help. However, for some, gossiping is a habitual, default mode of functioning. When this happens, the gossip can become offensive and even start affecting our other relationships.

After talking with such a person, it’s important to reflect: Does what they said stay in my mind? Does it stick? Ideally, as a service, we hear them out, respond as thoughtfully as we can, and then move on. Krishna gives the example of the lotus flower—water falls on it but doesn’t cling to it. Similarly, we should aim to let such conversations flow over us without sticking. We listen, process, respond appropriately, and then move forward with our lives.

However, we also need to evaluate the overall effect of such interactions on our thoughts. While actions take time to manifest, their seeds are sown in our thoughts. If a certain conversation or association begins to dominate our thoughts, it will eventually influence our actions.

For instance, if someone suggests doing something that is a clear deviation—such as eating meat—most sincere spiritual seekers on the bhakti path would outright refuse. But the subtler, indirect influences are what we need to be cautious about. They might not provoke immediate action but could gradually affect our default thought patterns.

So, the key is to be conscious of what we are conscious of. After engaging in an activity or interaction, observe: What are the default thoughts of my mind afterward? Based on this introspection, you can decide whether continuing such interactions is beneficial for your spiritual progress.

Thank you very much.